Morgana Won't Say She's in Love
by Lollipopswilltakeover
Summary: Morgana Pendragon was no fool. And yet, the fools' holiday of Saint Valentine's Day yields unexpected results. Mergana. Posted as Unspoken Words once, by BlackBandit111.
1. Chapter 1

**As Bandit explained, I will be re-editing the original version of Unspoken Words, originally titled Morgana Won't Say She's in Love. I don't know what I can promise regarding this story, but I can promise an ending. It's been almost three years since this was originally published, it's time that we end it.**

**On that happy note, onto the story!**

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It was Saint Valentine's Day. A fool's holiday, Morgana personally thought. What was love worth? Would it bring one happiness? What they wanted in life? Would it solve all of her problems? No, no it would not. It was a fool's holiday, and yet she couldn't help but enjoy the pleasant atmosphere. It was a beautiful day, with crisp winter air filling her lungs with ease. She sighed. Morgana almost wished that it was full of rainstorms and thunder.

"Lady Morgana?" Merlin's voice called from outside her door. "May I come in?"

Morgana opened the door, despite the pit in her stomach. Merlin was an annoyance at best; he had plagued her at every step of her journey. And yet she couldn't bring herself to kill him. Morgause was constantly urging her to, but there was a bit of her that recalled when he had first been brought to Camelot. So, she hated him, but she couldn't kill him. But when she could, Morgana already had a dagger picked out.

She brought herself together and opened the door. There stood Merlin, clad in a red neckerchief and a red shirt. He obviously was all for the holiday. Instead of his usual mask, there was a genuine smile on his face. It was startling, and Morgana had to do a double take to make sure it was him.

"What do you want?" she snapped, tapping her foot. The light in his eyes faded a touch, and there was a slight pain in her heart from the knowledge that she had done that. But she pushed it aside and continued glaring. He sighed.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Morgana," Merlin said stiffly, holding out a small box in the palm of his hand. It was wrapped with a bit of twine, which was soon discarded as she opened it. Just in case it was something poisonous, she had to open it front of him. Not at all because his eyes were hopeful.

Inside the box was a chain of shining sea glass beads. It was bright green with livid blue streaks, shining bright in the early afternoon light. Morgana's fingers slowly ran over the smooth beads. They were beautiful, and yet all she could think about was how much it had cost for the manservant to get her this.

"Do you like it?" he asked nervously, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. The feeling of warmth blossomed in her chest, despite her efforts to squash it. Someone had thought of her. It wasn't as though she lacked being given presents, it was that the presents lacked the personality of the giver. Lacked the feeling. Subconsciously, she rubbed at the bracelet Morgause gave her.

"They're very beautiful, Merlin. Thank you for your generous gift," she smiled. He broke out into a giant smile, and God, it just looked ridiculously endearing when coupled with his large ears. No, he wasn't endearing, nor was he supposed to make her feel good. Merlin thwarted her plans again and again, and she would kill him. One day. Maybe.

"You're welcome, 'Gana." He used the nickname out of habit, not by choice. Morgana saw his eyes widen and his hand twitch as soon as the words left his mouth. Merlin hadn't called her that in a long time. For a moment they just stood there in the silence, letting the past carve a larger chasm between them.

"I, er, have nothing for- wait." Curiosity burned bright in Merlin's eyes and Morgana hurried deep into her chambers to find that specific dress. For a moment she considered just giving the dress to him with a smirk (his crossdressing schemes had reached every corner of the castle), but in the end she grabbed her shears and cut off the piece she needed. "Here!"

She tried to tell herself that she only gave him a present to compensate for his. The strange burning in her stomach didn't believe that for a minute.

"Morgana, I can't accept this," Merlin argued, but he let the fabric fall into his hands. The beautiful green cloth was now fashioned into a neckerchief. It was hurried, yes, but it was probably the finest thing Merlin would ever own. A hint of pleasure numbed the burning.

"Take it. It's a gift." Morgana knew that this would probably be the last time they would even try to be kind to one another. She could feel it within her bones. She thought Merlin sensed it too, as he looked away from her piercing gaze.

"Well, I'll be off. Enjoy your day!" Merlin hurried off, practically running away from her door. She quietly closed her door, unable to draw her gaze from the beautiful beads. It was obviously handmade with careful and steady hands. Did Merlin actually take the time to string all these delicate beads onto the string? It was amazing that he had the patience, let alone talent, for it.

Before she knew it, it was dinner time, and Gwen entered her room. Truthfully, the only thing that Morgana really, truly regretted about her new self was that her relationship with Gwen was distanced. She had been a friend throughout the lonely years, and yes, even though she had Morgause, her sister, her sister wasn't always there.

"What lovely beads, Morgana. Did Uther give them to you?" Gwen asked, picking out her evening dress.

"No, Merlin did, actually."

"Really? I saw him running all over the castle today, he looked petrified!" Gwen held up a beautiful blue dress. "What do you think?"

"Perfect." And not just because it matched the beads.

Gwen smiled to herself, and Morgana knew that was the exact reason she had picked the dress.

After dressing, they headed down to the dining hall. Uther made some speech about love and prosperity, turning the feast day of the Saint of love into a politics and an anti-magic one. Just as he did with every holiday. Her hands formed fists, teeth biting down on her tongue so she wouldn't let it loose.

A couple times, she could've sworn she saw Merlin looking her way, as if to check if she was wearing the beads. She wondered if he was happy that she was, then decided she didn't care about what Merlin thought. She wanted him dead. Didn't she?

By the time night came over Camelot, Morgana was done with Saint Valentine's Day. She was done with all matters of the heart in general. Because she was stronger than some petty crush she had ages ago. She was a priestess of the Old Religion, for Pete's sake! Morgana didn't let anything stand in her way, and yet this kept popping up again and again.

If only her crush had been a desire to kill him, that would be so much easier to manage…

Morgana looked at the beads in her hands, half wanting to throw them against the wall and watch them shatter upon impact. Maybe that would make her stronger. But instead, she slid them into a velvet pouch and hid them away. She wouldn't ever wear them again. Ever. But she would keep them. If only because Gwen would notice if she got rid of them.

Morgana tried to ignore the strange feeling in her heart as she put them away. What she was feeling wasn't love, it was hatred, and she would kill Merlin. Even the thought of her old emotions towards him were dangerous, and kept her from her goal.

Morgana didn't let anything stand in her way, especially not petty manservants.

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**Next chapter will be longer, I just prefer having the starting chapters start off a touch smaller. I hope you enjoyed!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I deeply apologize for the late update, I want to update once a week to every week and a half. It just didn't happen this week, and I'm sorry. Onto the story!**

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When Merlin had given Morgana the necklace, he had honestly thought that she might blast him to bits as a Valentine's Day gift. From Morgana, that was like chocolates and 'I love you'. But he wasn't going to complain, she had at least accepted his gift. To top that, she had given him a gift back. That had to mean there was hope, right? Hope that she could still be good, be their friend… Doubtful.

Merlin sighed, running his hand through his hair. He missed the days when it was just the four of them against the world. Now, Morgana was evil and Gwen and Arthur were dating. Merlin was all alone. Again. Could anyone blame him for wanting to rekindle his relationship with Morgana? He couldn't accept that she was gone, even if he didn't want her.

He would watch Arthur walk with Gwen and feel the pit of loneliness grow. It made his insides ache. Merlin was lonely, plain and simple. He wanted someone to be his friend, to be his. Yes, he had Arthur and Gwen, but it wasn't the same. Merlin wanted someone to hold, and even before he had met Freya, he thought that Morgana could've been that someone. But now she was evil and hated him. Merlin just couldn't make himself give up on her.

He was afraid, true, afraid of love. After losing Freya, he had been scared to even dip his toes into the water. Now, Morgana was practically lost to him as well. He supposed his luck in the romance department wasn't great, not like he could change it. His feelings kept betraying him, sentencing him to pain. Joy.

So around Morgana, he felt torn: He, at very least, cared for her, but she hated him and wanted him dead. Not to mention she was , oh yeah, evil. Maybe he should just give up on love and get a cat...name it Morgana...get another cat...name it Freya...then another…

"Oh my God," he murmured to himself, "I'll turn into a cat man..." He glanced around the hallway he was walking in, afraid someone had heard, but when he found it deserted he calmed. Then he walked straight into a wall.

He landed on the ground hard on his bottom, and he rubbed his forehead. "Ow...watch where you're walking..." Then he looked up and realized he was talking to stone. "Well, that's nice...you are the one who walked into me, though, you know...what am I doing? I'm talking to a wall! See, this is what love makes you do...I suggest not ever trying to feel it... and I'm still talking to the wall...that's nice..." Merlin got to his feet with a groan, his back cracking as he stood up straight. "Oh, my back...my head, my back, my head...ugh...I'm talking to myself now. As if the wall wasn't bad enough."

"Merlin?" a voice called from around the corner. Morgana's voice. Merlin's eyes darted to the end of the corridor, then back to where Morgana's voice came from.

"What to do, what to do?" he muttered. He could run away, like he wanted to; or he could stand and face Morgana, his maybe love? Time to run.

"What the hell are you doing on the floor?" she asked, annoyed. He rubbed his head.

"Oh, I just enjoy wasting the day away here, what do you think? I fell," he answered, grabbing onto the wall for support. Morgana laughed, and Merlin winced. His head felt rather funny. Suddenly, her laughter stopped.

"Oh, damn it all, you've cut your head!" Morgana groaned. Merlin raised a hand to his head, and indeed, it came away sticky with blood. Hm. That was quite a bit of blood, wasn't it? Gaius wouldn't be happy.

"Would you mind getting Gaius? I don't think I can stand up." It was the truth. His vision was swimming before him, and it took everything he had to sit upright.

"Nonsense, I'll help you walk to Gaius's," she said, and for a moment Merlin wondered why she was even helping him. Not that he wasn't grateful, but she wanted to kill him. Why would she do this? Probably just to keep up fronts.

Her arms were around his torso, and black spots dotted his vision when she pulled him up. When did Morgana become so strong? And then he felt her arms tremble and fail as he fell back down to the floor. "Okay, I'll go get Gaius. You just… stay here…"

Morgana left, the blurry vision of her silhouette being the last thing he saw.

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The next thing he knew, Merlin was being spoon fed some sort of tonic that tasted like foot.

"BAHHHH!" Merlin all but wiped at his tongue. "What the hell is that?" he asked, scrubbing viciously at his mouth. Gaius smiled above him.

"You're awake. Good. Arthur will be glad. Your head injury is only minor, but does require a day or two of rest. If it hadn't been for the Lady Morgana, it could've been much worse. Luckily, the wound is now bandaged and cleaned. Arthur was worried," Gaius informed, handing Merlin a glass of water.

"How long was I unconscious?" Gaius shrugged.

"By the time Morgana brought me to you, you were all but a drooling mess on the floor. Gwaine couldn't stop laughing, at least until he figured out that you were injured and not just passed out drunk as Arthur had originally thought." Merlin groaned. Why did everybody think he was always at the tavern? Hells, he should always be at the tavern, with the life he lead!

"And, um, the Lady left you something. I left it in your night table, she said you should open it alone." With that, Gaius left, gently closing the door behind him. Merlin's head was pounding, but he groped around for in his nightstand anyways.

His fingers met a bag of rich fabric unfamiliar to his touch. He hastily drew it out, pulling at the strings. Inside were the brightest blue beads, twinkling with their own inner light. Merlin would know. He had strung them onto the simple chain for hours on end, trying to get it just right. His heart sunk. Morgana had all but denied his gift. But why had she done it now and not when he had given it?

Keeping up facades, no doubt. Merlin's hands became fists, and suddenly he grew weary.

He was tired of trying to keep Morgana good, of dealing with whatever he felt, of keeping Arthur alive, of keeping his magic hidden. Merlin closed the bag, dropped it into his drawer, and let sleep overtake his weary form.

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Elsewhere in the castle, a certain King's ward carefully clasped a simple chain onto her neck. It was particularly grande or elegant, just a mere chain of common metal. And for a singular moment, a simple smile broke out onto her beautiful face. Her fingers gently ran over the chain, before stilling and drawing back towards her sides.

Morgana Pendragon may have returned the beads. But she had kept the chain.

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**Chapter 3 will be longer, I promise! I try to make each chapter longer, so there's always that to look forward to! I hope you enjoyed!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sorry I haven't updated, this time of the year is really hard on me. It gets hard to direct my writing when my emotions are all out of sack. Enough about me, onto the story!**

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Sleep evaded Merlin like one avoided the plague. His eyes bore dark bags the size of coins, and his hands always seemed to be indelicate. His head was still tender from the Wall Incident, and Merlin knew it was more than that. His heart kept him awake, with stabbing pains. His fingers itched to open his nightstand and check to see if the beads were truly there, that he wasn't just imagining things.

But Merlin didn't allow himself the torment. The beads were real, for Morgana had rejected the offer of- Of what, exactly? Forgiveness? Friendship? Love? The offer of his heart perhaps, as well as his brains, for that has seemed to be missing for quite a bit now.

Well, whatever the offer, she had rejected him-it. And now, Merlin had to ignore his instincts that she could change, that she wasn't evil, that if he just gave her more time she would, and do what was best for Camelot. What he needed to do.

He had to betray the woman he had once been so eager to give his heart to and kill her, betray her once again before she let this mess hurt anyone else.

Merlin would've done many things for the High Priestess, but the thought of Arthur Pendragon nothing more than a cold corpse was something he could not bare. He had a duty, and he would stick to it.

And thus, with a sickening pit in his stomach and weariness in his eyes, Merlin planned to take her down.

Morgause had sent for her. It had been many weeks, too many weeks, without her sister. And yet, Morgana felt nothing more than a dull thud when she thought of her. Her sister was the one who had lifted the ignorance covering her eyes, showed her the light, and yet what Morgana felt she knew was not truly love. Not what she had between herself and Arthur, between her and Gwen. The sort of familial bond that nothing could break.

She told herself it was just that they had only met recently, that they saw each other less than once a month. Funny, how her mouth just accepted the lies while her stomach burned with acid when they hit.

Morgana looked down at the small hawk in front of her. He was beautiful, with strong red wings and a crown of gold. He was proud, and free. Morgana thought she would enjoy being a hawk. The freeness on the back of the wind, flying with no responsibility beyond finding your next meal. But she had job, and if enslaving herself would get it done, she would.

She grabbed her black cloak and other necessities, hiding them behind her armoire. She would have to prepare Septentriones before hand, as well as sneak out. Her eyes flew to the sleeping draught Gaius had prepared for her, and ignored the twinge of guilt she felt. He always took such good care of her, but she would not need it tonight.

Morgana decided a rest was in order, as she would require her strength. Morgause never told whether they would be planning their takeover, or training, or what. They had to rally people behind them, which Morgause promised wouldn't be hard, as everyone hated Uther, they had to prepare, and then…

In truth, Morgana wondered if they truly needed to harm so many innocents. Why didn't they just kill Uther and put Arthur under a spell? It was easier, and spared many lives. But Morgause insisted that Morgana be Queen. She couldn't held the suspicions arise within her, that Morgause simply wanted power, not freedom. But thoughts like that would drive Morgana from her true sister, so she pushed them down to a dark place.

Out of habit, she glanced in the direction she had once hidden the beads. But those were gone from her possession, and she had no one to blame for that but herself. Morgana had to deny any friendship between her and Merlin, forget anything else, Morgause said. She had to distance herself from those in Camelot, as the lot of them were simple minded idiots who had obeyed Uther's every will.

There were some she couldn't bare to distance herself from, but she was trying. Really hard. Gwen, for example. Sweet Gwen. Had she ever done anything terrible? She was just a strong-willed girl who loved deeply and was loyal to a fault. How could Morgana ever distance herself from her first true friend?

And Arthur, as much as the two had fought and bickered, distancing herself from him was so hard. He had been her protector, her older brother, a friend, for some many years. They were brother and sister, true flesh and blood, and even though Morgause had told her again and again that they were sisters, she had been Arthur's sister first. Hadn't she?

Slowly, Morgana felt herself drifting away from her old world and into a new one. The old was slowly being stripped from her, not unlike a snake's skin, and the new was just starting to settle. It was strange to the touch, caught between worlds. The only problem was that she feared if the new one would be worse than the old one. She told herself, How could it be any worse? Nothing could be worse.

Somehow, Morgana knew that wasn't true.

Not long after the castle had fallen asleep, Morgana rose. She hurried to the stables, where Septentriones was ready, as planned. Her bags were packed, as plan. The chain was in a small velvet pouch in her room, hidden, as planned. Everything was going according to plan, but the chill of the wind whispered that something wasn't right.

She ignored it. She had to get to Morgause. The nightmares were steadily getting worse, and her sister always had remedies. At very least, she could give her energy to go on. Sleep wasn't always necessary, but it was kinder than using plain energy.

Morgana rode hard, the wind whipping around the branches of the trees. It was somehow too quiet, even with the movements of branches and dying leaves. Her ears perked up, as if they were hearing something she wasn't. Her brow furrowed. She was alone, and even if she wasn't she could defend herself.

One time a band of drunken men had happened across her. They had never awoken, thanks to Morgause. Morgana from then on had kept all meetings in the wood secret, taking care of them herself. Memory wipes were far kinder, but kicks in the balls helped ease her ire and disgust.

She didn't feel anxiety prickling her skin, sensing an attack, but they sensed something. Someone. She rode harder, eager to get to Morgause. In her haste, Morgana didn't see the trap. But Septentriones got spooked by something, and jerked her off so forcefully Morgana went flying quite perfectly through it. The bottom of the hole was covered in leaves, as well as mucky water. The hole was deep, almost two times her size.

She shivered, breath clear in front of her. Hm, that wasn't good, was it?

Before she knew it, a scrawny little head with rather large ears was peering down at her. "Morgana, is that you?"

"No, it's the Baker and his Wife," she retorted, rubbing her arms. Merlin snorted. Panic then overtook her. What was he, of all people, doing here?

"What are you doing here?" he dared to ask her, as if she had wanted to be in a hole. He had followed her, hadn't he? Anger, hot and furious coiled in her stomach.

"I could ask you the same question," she huffed, mostly because it was truly a terrible retort.

"I couldn't sleep, and I was out riding when I saw you in passing. I didn't know it was you at the time, of course, but an assassin. I got curious." His tone grew cold towards the end, as if he had just remembered what she had done. Probably had, he was always forgetting things. "And you?"

Just as she opened her mouth, Merlin landed right on top of her. Dirt also filled her mouth, which wasn't pleasant. Dirt truly tasted awful. Dutifully noted. Perhaps she would sprinkle some on top of Uther's food. A taste of her own revenge, if you would.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and heat flooded her cheeks. Merlin was the one who had fallen, rougher than she had at that, and he asked her if she was okay. He was such a…. such a… good person.

She glared at him, channeling inner hatred that just simply wasn't there. "I'm stuck with you, aren't I?"

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**I can't promise when the next update will be, but the next couple chapters will get longer. 3**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm so sorry for not updating, I got a sinus infection and when I'm sick I just can't write. I was sick for a week, and that's why this was so behind. Please take banter in form of my apology.**

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They soon discovered that their chances of dying of cold were quite high. Not as quite as high as one of them strangling the other, but nonetheless, the risk was real. Morgana had tried to get a fire going, but it was meager for all they had at their disposal was damp leaves, and it's pretty hard to make a fire with damp leaves and magic.

"You know, if you hadn't followed me, we wouldn't be in this mess!" she scoffed, shivering. The night was cold in Camelot, frost just days away. Or, she hoped days away.

"Oh yes, because letting the King's Ward get killed would just be fantastic for me, wouldn't it!" he retorted. "Uther would sooner have my head if I hadn't gone after you!"

"There are these things, yeah, they're called guards _Mer_lin, if you were so 'concerned' for my safety, as you claim, you would've just alerted them." Her voice was cold and cruel. Sometimes Morgana wondered when she had developed into the person that she was. Other times, she couldn't bare to think of it.

Merlin's face lost all its fight, and he just looked sad. "You know why I couldn't do that, Morgana," he said quietly. Heat flared at her cheeks. "I figured that it would be better to follow you than to alert anyone. Just in case."

A funny feeling coiled deep in her stomach. He had followed her, claiming it was for her safety. But she knew it wasn't just because of that. They were in enemies, and he would've followed her even if he didn't care.

Morgana kind of hoped he cared.

"You know, the temperature is dropping by the second, and yelling at each other is getting us absolutely nowhere," Merlin said, wringing his hands. She knew he was right, but admitting that was something pride just didn't allow for.

"And exactly would you have us do, snuggle together?" she asked bitterly, sarcasm dripping heavily from her words. He winced. Too soon, she realized. Was it just a matter of days ago that she had returned the beads? Her hands wished to follow the chain's path for comfort, but she stilled them.

Whatever was between them, or had been between them, couldn't exist. She wanted to kill him, right? Well, she would one day. Once she fully accepted her duty. Morgause said that she had taken years to fully accept her duty as a fighter for equality. Something in Morgana didn't believe it, but she swallowed the lie anyways.

"Well, actually yes." Her head snapped up. Was he joking? "If we actually want to survive the night, huddling together would be our best bet. Body warmth and all that, Gaius actually told me about it after a nasty case of frostbite, they lost almost all of their fingers, and, well, you get the point."

Morgana crossed her arms over her chest, rubbing at her upper arms. "Fine." She awkwardly reached out to hold him. He was all bones and elbows and knees. Merlin was lanky, but feeling his form so close was something different.

Indeed, they did get warmer, and before Morgana knew it her eyes were closing and she was asleep. And she had no nightmares.

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"Morgana, is that you?" The quiet whisper fell from above and caressed her ears, rising her from sleep. Morgana rubbed her eyes and squinted at where the voice had come from.

"Morgause?" she hissed, carefully untangling herself from Merlin's lanky limbs. He was so warm, she missed it. Not him, no, definitely not him.

"What are you doing at the bottom of a h- Is that a boy?" The shock in her voice made Morgana blush furiously.

"I fell, then he fell, and then we were stuck. He's the servant I've been telling you about, the one who gets in the way of all our plans." Saying 'our plans' always felt sort of wrong to Morgana. Morgause was the one who always came up with them, and Morgana just merely executed them. She rarely had part in the actual planning part.

Morgause's eyebrow raised. "Ah, so this is the troublesome servant." She extended her arm, which Morgana eagerly took. "Grab him," she ordered, and Morgana latched her arms around Merlin's torso.

"Why are you saving him?" Her eyes glinted with dangerous, and the dark coil in Morgana's stomach tightened.

"Oh, sister, I'm not saving him. We're going to get rid of this meddlesome servant once and for all."

Her chest grew tight, and Morgana struggled to draw breath. "We're not… Killing him, are we?" Killing was messy. She had killed before, mostly in defense, and while she longed to kill Uther and Merlin, the thought of actually doing it was hard. She knew it was just because she had known them for so long. Sentiment, and all that. But Uther was evil, and Merlin was just a thorn in their side. Killing him, them, whatever, would be best.

"Not directly, no. Make it look like an accident. We can't have Uther declaring war just yet. But it will be a stab directly in Camelot's heart. He's Arthur's manservant, correct? Word is that the two are close, closer than two men should be apparently, and if we can hurt them like this, our chances of winning not only increases, but the death rate goes down. We'd have to strike within the next five or so months, of course, which would obviously speed up planning, but it's a perfect opportunity." Morgause threw back her head and laughed. "Why, you getting stuck in this hole was just what we needed."

Morgana nodded, trying to look excited. She tried to ignore the whole 'closer than two men should be' bit. Was it possible that she had misread… No, she wouldn't think about that. She was supposed to be happy. Happy that equality would come sooner, happy that Uther would be dead, happy that they would be in pain. But she wasn't. All she saw was a somewhat-innocent's death and pain. Sentiment, it was just sentiment. Merlin needed to die, she had wanted to kill him for ages. But wanting to do something and actually doing it were completely different things. Her heart just wasn't in his murder. Not yet.

Morgause tied Merlin up and attached him to her horse. "Before you go back, we have to get your story straight. And I'd imagine you'd like to know where he will be kept, of course." Morgana nodded, straddling the extra horse Morgause had brought.

They rode fast, for dawn had past and the sun was flooding the forest. Search parties would be sent for her, and they couldn't be found. Morgana's cover would be blown, and she feared how Uther would react. How Arthur would react. Torture was a lingering threat, and she couldn't go through that.

They rode to an abandoned village, one that the plague had reached some months ago. They were all gone now, and that all that mattered, according the Morgause. Somehow, Merlin remained asleep. Morgause must've cast a sleeping spell on him, but she wasn't sure how long it would last.

They traveled to the center of the village, where a well waited. "It's pretty much all dried up now. It's the perfect place to hide him." They gently lowered him down, the coil growing tighter and tighter within her stomach. His slight sleeping form drifted out of sight, and then Morgana rode back to the forest.

"Story is, you got lost in the forest after a moonlight walk. You came across some bandits, and you ran. You hid in a cave, and didn't come out until dawn. That's it. Easy and simple," Morgause instructed, and with that, Morgana was walking through the forest.

She walked until the pearly gates of Camelot were in view. Her only thought was how Merlin was doing.

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**Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I think my updates come about every 2-4 weeks, and I'm really sorry for not being more consistent than that. School is a beast, and I have to work on other stuff as well as this. **

**Question: How long do you guys want this to go on for? Chapter-wise?**

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Everything hurt. Why did everything hurt? He hadn't cleaned out Arthur's stables since last week, he hadn't done anything particularly physically demanding yesterday, just light cleaning. So why were his limbs in such agony?

Merlin groaned, stretching his arms up. His hands met no resistance, only air. He rubbed at his eyes, letting the bleariness wash away. All around him was stone, slick and wet. Only then did he become aware of the light trickle of water coming from his left. Merlin stood up, pressing on the walls around him.

His heart was in his throat. Claustrophobia, Gaius had called it. Merlin just knew he didn't like small spaces, not after hiding in them for so many years. He knew that he had a decent amount of space, considering he was in a well. But he felt like the walls were practically right up against his skin, crushing him.

Merlin took a deep breath. He was in a well. He had water. He had no clue where he was. He had no clue how he had gotten in a well. The last thing he remembered was being at the bottom of the hole with Morgana.

He ignored his pulse increase at the thought of her name.

Bottom of the hole, fighting, holding her close (to stay warm, of course), and then just nothing. He had went to bed, and woken up in a well. With no Morgana. Someone must have found them, otherwise he would be back in the hole. So someone had found them.

Panic overtook him, and Merlin bent over from the force of it. He tried to take a deep breath, but only managed small stilted ones. Someone had found them, dropped him off here, whatever, but what had happened to Morgana?

She could be kidnapped, or dying, or dead, or worse. Worry made Merlin queasy, and he tried to relax. He was breathing fast, way too fast. He had to calm down, panicking would help no one. Still, it took a few minutes to regulate his heart and breathing. He looked at the edge of the well, wondering how far away it was from him.

Unfortunately, there was no sort of levitation spell or flying spell large enough for him to use to get out. So he sat down on a drier patch in the well and took a sip from the flowing stream around him. It was strangely warm, and he didn't have to fear the bite of the cold.

Merlin tried not to imagine where Morgana was, if she was okay, but he couldn't help himself. A queasy feeling had found home in his stomach, and didn't look like it would be uprooted anytime soon. She was so strong, and Merlin knew that she was more than capable of handling herself, but that didn't stop his worry.

She was ward to the damn King of Camelot, of course someone would want to kidnap her! But he just couldn't understand why they would put him in this well, why they would even bother with moving him. They could've just taken her, and left him in the hole. No witnesses, he would eventually die, it would be perfect.

Then he remembered.

Morgana went into the forest to meet with her sister. Merlin grimaced. Morgause had probably found her, and then decided to take him far away from Camelot. The hole was close enough to Camelot that eventually a group of guards would've found it. Morgana was probably fine, already home in Camelot, weaving some web of lies.

Probably.

He sighed, leaning against the rough wall of the well. Merlin was tired. Magically induced sleep wasn't very restless, and he could feel the individual bruises all over his body wailing. Merlin imagined that falling into a hole and then probably being dropped into a well wasn't good for his body.

Then again, his heart had been getting all the beatings as of late, so it was nice to get a physical pain that could be healed for once.

* * *

"I was going for a walk, as it was such a beautiful night, and with the winter coming soon, it would be the last nighttime walk I would talk for a while. I took Septentriones for a walk and apparently Merlin was also suffering some insomnia, so he accompanied on the ride. I didn't want to bother the guards, as it was just a nighttime walk. We were ambushed in the woods by bandits, and they knocked Merlin unconscious. I ran as fast as I could, and found a cave to hide in until dawn. I then walked back here," Morgana finished, crossing her arms.

"And Merlin?" Arthur asked, unable to help himself. Morgana felt her urge to scowl deepen. Perhaps those rumors Morgause had heard were true, and Merlin had just been offering friendship, and just friendship. Either way, a pit entered her stomach and planted itself there.

She looked down, trying to look fearful and ashamed. "If I had tried to save him, I wouldn't be here right now." Arthur's face fell, and something twisted in her stomach at the sight of it. Definitely not guilt, because feeling guilty was stupid. "He had fought bravely," she added lamely.

Arthur nodded. "I'll escort you to your chambers, and then I'll go report back to Uther. You need your rest. I'll send Gaius up to examine you. Those bruises must hurt." Fire raged in his eyes. "We'll catch those bandits, 'Gana. No one is allowed to hurt you and get away with it." Morgana mutely nodded.

It was strange, how Arthur would do anything for the ones he cared for. She wondered how long it would be until that policy no longer applied to her. The sooner, the better, she figured. After all, he meant nothing to her anymore. He was the tyrant's son, and like father, like son. He would be no better than Uther. She had to remind herself that he hated magic users, more than anything.

That means he hated her more than anything, she supposed.

She entered her chambers to find Gwen suddenly holding her. "Oh, thank God, you're safe!" Gwen's voice was muffled by her hair, and the sudden warm and love that was hugging her caught her off guard.

"I'm fine," she managed, squeezing her friend back. She would make sure Gwen was pardoned. The girl had done nothing wrong, it was just her job. And she had proven a true friend over the year.

Gwen released her from her tight grip, and held her at arm's length. "I was so worried. I came to the castle as soon I heard, Arthur was so worried! He had been in the woods since your disappearance became apparent, he refused to stop the search for anything. And Uther sent out almost all the guards he could spare! Oh, I'm so relieved you're safe!" There was true happiness found in Gwen's gaze, and she felt a dark slime crawl beneath her skin.

"It was terrifying," she whispered, rubbing smooth circles into Gwen's skin with her thumb. Gwen nodded.

"I imagine so." Gwen gave Morgana a strange look. "Are you okay? Truly? I mean, with Merlin and all." For a moment Morgana panicked, thinking that Gwen knew where he truly was. But then she remembered her lies. She bit her lip, wondering how much of the truth she should tell.

"I'm so worried," she heard herself rasp. Gwen gestured for her to sit down, worry in her eyes. "I don't know what's happening to him, or where he could be, or, I don't know anything! And it's all my fault, Gwen, it's all my fault that he's- that he's stuck in their camp! Who knows what they're doing to him, Gwen!"

Gwen squeezed her hands, and Morgana became aware of the tears budding in her eyes. Real tears, strangely enough.

"Sh, it's okay, shh," she murmured as she held her close. Morgana felt hiccups in her chest, and tried to steady her breathing. Gwen held her until Morgana was calm.

"This must be so hard for you, with you having feelings for Merlin and all." Morgana sat up, shock shooting through her spine.

"What do you mean? I do not have feelings for Merlin, we're, we're acquaintances, at best, Gwen! I just feel bad that he's being held captive there because of me!" she exclaimed, crossing her arms defensively. Gwen put her hands up in surrender.

"Either way, you must get some rest. Gaius will be in later, but for now you need rest. Try to sleep, okay?" Gwen gently kissed the top of her forehead and tucked her into bed like a child. It was nice, to be cared and looked after for.

Worry and guilt plagued at her insides. She had to go after him, she had to save him. Merlin couldn't die that way, he should die a different way. Not in such an afterthought fashion, not in such a meaningless way.

"Morgana? It's me, Gaius, I'm coming in."

Morgana smiled at the old man's voice.

"I have a strong sleeping draught for you, it will knock you out for ten hours straight. You have no apparent wounds that need immediate attention, and you need the rest more. I'll be back later, after you've slept." Gaius was stiff, and Morgana remembered that he looked after Merlin like a father would a son. He must be suffering right now. Guilt and shame overcame her, flooding every ounce of her being.

He left as soon as he came, and Morgana couldn't blame him for it. If she were Gaius, she'd want out of her presence too.

Morgana tried to let sleep come, but it was just out of reach. Something felt like it was missing, a warmth or a just a sense.

She recalled the hole, and feeling of warmth she felt with Merlin. The gentleness of his touch, the warmth found in the slightest of his movements, his hot breath against her cheek. Drowsiness overcame her, and once more she found herself asleep with ease.

There seemed to be a continuing pattern.

* * *

**For all of the old readers of the original story/ies, does anyone remember Isadore? **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello, readers! So we are slowly building to the climax of the story, and I do have an ending in mind. I hope that you will continue to the end with me! Now, onto the story!**

* * *

"Oh my god, Acure, there's someone down there!" Merlin looked up, seeing two heads looking down at him.

"Hello! Would you by any chance happen to have a rope, or anything! I, uh, fell down here a day or so ago, would you mind helping me up?" Quiet murmurs floated down to the bottom of the well, and Merlin could only catch snatches of their conversation.

"Yeah, just give us a moment, m'kay?" the one who must be Acure said.

A rope was lowered down to him, and Merlin eagerly started climbing it. He couldn't wait to get out of his tiny prison, to get away from the claustrophobia that was starting to make breathing hurt. The pressure behind his eyes relented as he stood on solid ground, the air open. He felt his breathing grow easier, and he smiled.

Before him stood two women, roughly his age. One had blonde hair plaited into a braid and brown eyes that smiled. Merlin felt almost comforted by her presence, but she still made him uneasy, even if she had helped save him. The other had curly brown hair with bright blue eyes. Her eyes were unbearably cold, and Merlin felt the distaste in her gaze.

The blonde one handed him water, and the scary one gave him bread. He quickly demolished both.

"God, how long were you down there for?" the blonde one asked, curious.

"A day or so? I fell," he lied, downing half the bottle with ease. "Thanks for saving me, would you, uh, happen to know where I am?"

The brunette tilted her head. "Karuo. Where are you headed? Perhaps we could help you to your destination."

"Camelot." As soon as the word left his mouth, they both winced, and the brunette looked angry.

"You're from Camelot?" she sneered, and the other girl hit her.

"Isadore, be nice. Just because he's under that tyrant's rule, doesn't mean that he is so terrible," Acure prompted, gently hitting her friend. Isadore crossed her arms and blew hair out of her face. "Anyways, we're heading that way anyways. Family, and all. As you can tell, Isadore is less than pleased about it."

Isadore sent her a dark look, which her friend shrugged off. "You can come along with us, it's just a day's ride away. You can ride with Acure." She then spun on her heel and quickly jumped on her horse.

"Is she, uh, always like that?" Acure giggled.

"Well, we've been riding for five days straight. She isn't in one of her better moods, but Isadore is typically pretty stoic. You'll get used to it," she answered, giving him a gentle smile. Merlin nodded, trying to mirror her smile. But he just couldn't, he was too… Frustrated? No, well, he was frustrated, be he was more confused than anything else.

"Come on, you too! Hurry up, we're wasting daylight!" Isadore shouted, already riding. Merlin and Acure followed in suit. Merlin tried to feel happy. He was rescued, and being given a ride back to Camelot. But he couldn't deny the pit of doubt in his stomach a home.

* * *

Dearest sister,

As we weren't able to meet last week, I wasn't able to tell you the news. I've arranged for two accomplices to come and help us plan. They'll be here within the next two weeks, and I'm told they travel fast. They are very invested in our cause, and will be vital to our plans. I'm very excited for all of us to meet. I'll send for you when they come.

-M

Morgana smiled, creasing the letter closed once more. Morgause would be sending for her soon, and then they could actually talk. They were more than just conspirators, they were sisters. Morgause had coaxed her from her shell and taught her how to be strong, to stop being the weakling she was.

Everything was beginning to snap into place. They would take over Camelot and let magic, let goodness, prevail. Uther would be gone, and they could freely practice their magic. She tried not to let everything else get to her.

Morgana tried not to let the nightmares bother her. The blood running through the palace halls, like a raging river. Of that knight, Gwaine, fighting for a mere slice of bread. Of Arthur looking desperate and desolate. Gwen being all alone. Merlin crying on the edge of a river. They were just nightmares, just dreams, and they wouldn't come true.

But Morgana wondered, what would happen to Arthur after they took over? He wouldn't just relinquish Camelot to them. Perhaps they could change his mind? Make him see Uther's evil? Even in her head, the idea was insane. He had been raised to hate magic, just like… just like she had.

He had shown sympathy to magic-wielders before. He understood that not all of them were evil, that it was a choice. Everything was a choice. She wanted him to understand, wanted him to be fine with what would happen. If he changed, she wouldn't have to rule. He could rule, and she could be his adviser, and Gwen could be his Queen, and Merlin could be her-

Morgana stopped the thought short. Merlin would never accept her, would never accept their cause. She told herself that he could never possibly understand, but a thought in the back of her mind wondered if she was just refusing to accept Merlin into her life.

"How are you feeling?" Gwen asked, briskly entering the room. Morgana turned and smiled.

"Better, thank you." She accepted the pitcher of water and the food Gwen handed her. "Is there any news on Merlin?"

Gwen frowned, fixing the flowers she had brought in. "There's no news, unfortunately. The guards have been out for ages, but Uther called them back. Said there was no point in looking for a 'mere servant'. But Arthur sent out some of the other knights to look for him on the down low. They're still looking for him, so don't worry."

Morgana bristled. "Why would I be worried?" she asked, crossing her arms. Gwen sighed, letting her hands drop to her sides.

"It's obvious, Gana." Morgana waited for her to continue. "You like Merlin!"

"What? Are-Are you joking? I don't like Merlin, I, why I despise him! I'm just concerned because he saved my life! That's it!" Morgana's fingers flew to the chain, and she couldn't deny the comfort they brought. She wanted to rip her fingers away, but she didn't.

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Okay, if you're still in denial, that's okay. All the other servants ship you two really hard."

"I'm not in denial, there's nothing to deny! And what do you mean, 'ship'?"

"Like, we all like you two together. It's so obvious you two are meant for each other, Gana!" Blush rose in her cheeks, which was ridiculous, because she didn't like Merlin. At all. She hated him, he would never understand her, and it would never work even if she did carry a torch for him.

Before Morgana could reply, a knight burst into the room, happiness in his eyes. "Merlin's back!"

* * *

They rode through the streets of Camelot, and Merlin felt free. His lungs were free, and he was home. "Where does your family live?" Merlin asked, and Acure simply smiled.

"Around!" she answered before urging the horse ahead to catch up with Isadore. Merlin shrugged. He was almost home, and then he could sleep.

He tried not to think about how he'd have to deal with Morgana. He knew, he had always known, that he couldn't get involved with her. She was destined to be his enemy, there was no room for love to grow between them. Only hate, and he knew Morgana had more than enough of that to go around.

He should probably just ignore her, but that would just be putting off the inevitable. She would either kill him, or he would have to kill her, or some engage in some sort of final duel. He really would have to talk to Kilgharrah about everything at some point. Merlin just didn't want to accept that Morgana was completely gone, but she was.

"Where do you want us to drop you off?" Acure asked.

"At the castle gates, I can walk from there!" he replied, eager to get home. Acure nodded, then shouted to Isadore.

"I'll meet you at Auntie's house, okay?" Isadore stiffly nodded before riding away.

"Thanks for helping me home," Merlin added, and he could just make out the edge of a smile on Acure's face.

"No worries! I hope to see you again, Merlin!" she said, and something shifted in Merlin's stomach. He nodded.

He was dropped of at the gates and walked inside, wondering where all the knights were. They really needed to up security, Merlin couldn't deal with all of the assassins that came to kill the Royal Family himself.

Suddenly, warm arms were around his torso and Merlin stiffened. "Thank God you're alright," he heard Morgana whisper. She squeezed tighter, and he couldn't help but smile.

He'd deal with her later. Right now, he'd just hold her.

* * *

**Review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I have to admit, this is kind of a filler chapter. Sorry. But hey, next chapter, I have… Plans.**

* * *

Morgana hadn't meant to catapult herself into Merlin's arms. Gwen had pushed her, and then she tripped, and then she was in his arms. She felt her cheeks flame brightly, but she didn't let go, merely because she needed a moment to stabilize herself. Not at all because she could feel the muscles rippling beneath his skin, his surprisingly strong arms wrapped around her. They were warm, and, almost comforting. Almost.

"I'm glad to be back," he said carefully. There was confusion in his eyes, but he was smiling, and that made something flutter in her stomach. Probably happiness at his confusion, or repulsion at his touch, but definitely not butterflies. Because she didn't like him. At all.

"Merlin!" Morgana's head turned to see Arthur clomping down the stairs, prompting her to quickly release him. "Where the hell have you been? My armor needs polishing, the stables need a mucking, and I've needed my daily dose of your absolute idiocy!" A jovial grin broke out on Arthur's face, hitting Merlin hard across the back. Merlin shuddered, and the grin faded. "Where are you hurt?" he asked darkly. Morgana bit her lip. Arthur was really protective of Merlin, far more protective than any typical Master-Servant relationship. Maybe there was really something going on there… Even if there was, it wasn't her business. Because she didn't like Merlin.

Only then did she become aware of the bags under his eyes, and his scrapped limbs. He seemed to be favoring one leg over the other, and arm was being cradled. He looked as though he hadn't slept at all since she had last seen him, and guilt crawled under her skin.

"I was in Karuo. After, uh, escorting Morgana and getting kidnapped, they dropped me off inside a well in Karuo. I imagine my landing wasn't the softest. And, uh, the stones in general just scrapped at my skin. I'm fine, honest," Merlin insisted. Arthur shook his head, propelling his manservant forwards.

"I'm taking you to Gaius, because the only thing worse than you not being here is you being here and being injured." He threw a look back towards Morgana that she couldn't read. "I'll talk to you later." Morgana nodded, cheeks flushing.

What did Arthur want to talk to her about?

* * *

"If you don't stop insisting you're fine, I'm going to carry you to Gaius's," Arthur threatened, and Merlin's complaint instantly died in his mouth.

"Fine." Arthur kept looking at him strangely, and it was starting to get weird. "What?"

"It's nothing." At Merlin's look, Arthur sighed. "Fine. It's just that, uh, I couldn't help but notice how concerned Morgana was during your absence. And, um, well I know how dangerous it is, with Uther and all, and if you two need some pointers with, uh, remaining secret, then, well, Gwen and I could, uh-" Merlin's face turned bright red. "What?"

"It's-It's not like that, you prat! She hates me, I… somewhat hate her, we glare at each other from afar, that's all there is to it!" Arthur laughed heartily, prompting Merlin to say, "What?"

"Oh, so you were glaring at Morgana, that's the case? Because it appeared to basically everyone else in the palace that you two were engaging in some serious hard core eye sex. Well, everybody except Uther, that is." Merlin sputtered, the heat flowing all over his body. His ears felt bright red, and they were starting to burn.

"Arthur, we hate each other. That's it," he insisted, crossing his arms. _Plus, she's tried to kill me, but I can't tell you that because I might still have hope, even though I shouldn't, plus you wouldn't believe me and Uther would take my head. _

Arthur sighed. "Fine, whatever you say. Just let me know when you two come to terms with your 'feelings'." Arthur's wicked laughter made Merlin slam the door to Gaius's chambers in the Crown Prince's face. "Merlin!"

Merlin laughed, only then noticing Gaius's strange expression. "I'm back," he said smiling, sitting down on Gaius's treatment table.

The physician smiled, and raised an eyebrow. "I was wondering when you would return. I was getting worried. So, what sort of injuries do you have this time?"

"General cuts and bruises. Might've dislocated my arm. Twisted my ankle? Probably just strained it. And, you know, haven't slept since I woke up in that well about three days ago. Had a claustrophobia induced panic attack, but besides that I'm just peachy!"

* * *

"Mind if I come in?" Arthur asked, not bothering with knocking.

"Well, you're already in here." Arthur smiled.

"Exactly. Now, Morgana, Gwen and I have some questions for you." At Morgana's questioning look, Gwen merely smiled, closing the door.

"What's going on?" she asked, hesitantly taking a seat on the bed.

"Well," Arthur began, eyes shifting towards Gwen.

"We couldn't help but notice how concerned you were for Merlin when he was kidnapped, as well as all the heated eye contact, and of course how you practically threw yourself in his arms today," Gwen finished tentatively.

"Of course I was concerned, I'm not heartless!" Morgana protested. Aren't you, though?

"Yes, well, you seemed as though you really do care about him," Arthur asked hesitantly, tilting his head gently. Morgana's fists clenched.

"I. Do. Not. Like. Him," she insisted, and Gwen sighed, towards Arthur.

"I told you neither of them would admit it!" Neither?!

"Yes, well, it's not our fault that everyone except them and Uther can see it! They're just so stubborn!"

"Um, hello, right here?" Morgana said, raising her hand. They shushed her, continuing with their conversation.

They really were cute, Morgana decided. Even bickering in a situation like this, she could that they did love each other. She doubted Arthur ever looked at Gwen with disgust in his blue eyes, and she couldn't even imagine Gwen trying to convince herself she hated Arthur. They just simply were a couple, and they just wanted to be able to love one another.

"Would you mind continuing this love fest somewhere else?" she asked. "I have a bit of a headache," she added crossly. Arthur nodded, dejected, and Gwen gently led him out of her chambers.

"Is there anything else you need, m'Lady?" Gwen asked, but Morgana shook her head.

"I just need to rest a little, that's all." Gwen nodded and closed the door behind her.

Just as Morgana was ready to lie comatose within her very plush bed, a raven knocked at her window. Heart racing, she quickly ushered the bird inside, unclasping the letter from its leg.

Dearest sister,

The sisters have arrived in Camelot and are very excited to meet you. Please meet us tonight at the usual place at midnight. Try your best not to be followed by nosy servants this time. We have much work to do, and our time for striking draws near.

-M

Morgana scrawled back a quick response, saying how she would be there and how she wouldn't be followed. It wasn't her fault that Merlin was so, well, Merlin!

Oh, she would probably have to tell Morgause that he had escaped… somehow? Funny, he hadn't mentioned how he had gotten out of the well. Well, it didn't matter, it just mattered that he was out. But he must've put it together that Morgana had been meeting someone, he wasn't that thick.

For his sake, she hoped he was. The time for killing him was near, that was true. But she still couldn't bring herself to do it. Not yet.

She would deal with Merlin herself when the time called for it. Morgana simply wouldn't tell Morgause he had escaped. After all, he was just a pesky servant. How much harm could he manage?

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**Next chapter, things start slowly rolling into motion. Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**So, early update because I finished this early! Don't expect this to happen a lot.**

**A note, on my more modern lingo: I'm not gonna be perfect when it comes to this. I thank you guys for pointing it out, but being correct in the sense of time isn't my largest concern. What time I have for writing this can't always be devoted to perfect accuracy, and I apologize for any blatantly incorrect lingo. Thank you for those who pointed it out, I'll fix it when I get around to it. **

**Also, next chapter I'll be answering questions, so leave a review if you have a question!**

**Now, onto the story**

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"Ah, Sister, right on time. I trust you weren't followed?" Morgana's cheeks flushed, and she ducked inside the cave, trying to hide her red cheeks.

"I wasn't." Morgana had checked three times that she hadn't been followed, and had taken extreme precaution. "Are they here yet?"

"No, I was told to expect them a half hour after midnight. We needed some time to catch up, as the last time we saw each other there were more pressing issues." Morgana wished that she would stop bringing up the fact that she had been followed, it had been an honest mistake. She thought she had been alone, but that wasn't good enough for Morgause. "Is there a set date for your birthday ball yet?"

Morgana grimaced. She had completely forgotten about her birthday, and it was only three weeks away. "It's on my actual birthday this year. Uther's going all out, as 'A Lady only turns eighteen once!' It's ridiculous!" Morgause chuckled, taking a seat beside her.

"However ridiculous it might be, it has presented us the perfect opportunity for striking." Her stomach shriveled up. "With so much activity, he wouldn't notice three more servants within the crowd. And that's when we'll strike, and we will take him off the throne, and Camelot will be free of Uther Pendragon forever!"

"Will-Will we be ready in three weeks?" Morgana hated that her voice was shaking.

"Three weeks is plenty of time, my dear." Morgause smiled, gently stroking her face. "All will be well. And since I know you're concerned about the bloodshed, I can assure you no more blood will be shed than necessary. I promise." Still, Morgana made note to give Gwen the day off and to suggest a day trip.

"What will become of all the nobles and such?" And Arthur? Morgause laughed, clasping Morgana's hands within her own.

"They will all be given the option to join our just cause. If they do not see the point in joining, then they will be locked in the dungeons and stripped of their noble titles. Children will be pardoned." She noticed the furrow in Morgana's brow and nodded. "Oh, you're worried about Arthur." Morgause sighed. "Unless he sees reason, he will have to be imprisoned with the other nobles. If he rebels and tries to work against us, he will have to be put to death with Uther. And I know this isn't what you want to hear, but we can't have an heir to the throne running around and opposing us." Her voice was gentle, but her eyes were hard. "We can't."

Morgana found herself nodding. "But if he joins?"

"If, and that's a big if, then he will be reduced to a noble." Morgana nodded, satisfied.

"Thank you, Sister." Morgause smiled.

"Anything for you." She stretched, raising her arms to the ceiling. "We should probably go check on that servant who followed you. He should be dead by now."

Before Morgana could respond, two women, girls really, no older than Morgana, entered the cave. One was compacted muscle and curly brown hair, with eyes clearer than the sky. She only came up to her friend's (sister's?) chest, who was long and lanky with a blonde plait and cool brown eyes.

"Ah, the Drophavgen Cousins, welcome, welcome!" Morgause exclaimed, rising to her feet. "My sister and I were anxiously expecting your arrival."

"We apologize for the lateness," the taller one said, bowing at the waist. "We came across a man stuck in a well on our way here, and saw it fit to return him home." The vein in Morgause's temple suddenly made an appearance.

"Stuck in a well? In Karuo?" The taller one nodded.

"Indeed." She tilted her head. "Would you happen to know him?" Morgause's face slid into a downright scowl.

"He's a pesky servant that got into our way, placed in the well to prevent him from interfering again." Morgause wrung her hands anxiously.

"That's actually was I was about to say, he's back in Camelot. He believes that he was kidnapped by bandits or something like that, and I believe we should leave it." When Morgause opened her mouth, Morgana's words fell out of her mouth before she could think. "I have a, ah, personal wish to be the one who disposes of him, and nothing would hurt him more than to see he has failed his precious Prince," she sneered. Morgause smiled, but the furrow in her brow remained.

"As long as you take care of him." She turned back to the cousins. "You were saying?"

"We were about to inquire as to what we were hired to do," the short one scoffed, kicking at the ground beneath her feet.

Morgause smiled wide. It was a strange site for Morgana. "Of course, Isadore. You two will assist us in the fighting and will direct our supporters. Your payment, besides what has already been given, will be a position in our new world of freedom." Morgana tried to ignore it, but she felt that freedom was a poor word choice. A different prison, perhaps.

The taller one, Acure, then, bowed low. "Your payment is very generous, and we will show our thanks by doing our jobs as best as we can." They shook hands, and Morgana felt Isadore's eyes pass over her and narrow. Before anything could be said, Morgause cleared her throat and spread her arms.

"Let the planning begin!" she announced with a smirk. Noticing Morgana once more, she gently smiled. "You should head back to Camelot, Sister. Next time we will risk your staying longer, but I don't doubt that Uther has guards checking your room more frequently ever since you disappeared. I'll send for you when we have stable plans." While her face was pleasant enough, Morgana got the sense that Morgause was eager for her leave. Trying to ignore the sting, she nodded, heading for the entrance of the cave where she had left her horse.

She rode hard for Camelot, exhaustion making it hard to keep her eyes open. Nightmares had been disrupting her sleep, and she didn't believe that tonight would be an exception. She knew that she should've told Morgause, but her nightmares were worrying, and she didn't want to discuss them. She didn't want to admit that they were worrying her.

Morgana hauled herself into bed and let the dark waves of sleep take her out to sea.

* * *

A man struggled as kindling was loading onto the pyre. "You'll never get away with this!" he spat, tossing his head in an attempt to get out of his ropes. His muscles were bulging, and he was obviously in pain. "I am the rightful King and Heir to Camelot, and even if you kill me, your reign shall not last!" A slender figure stepped onto the stand, reaching out to gently stroke his face. Her dress was black and fine, her blonde curls freely spilling down her back.

"No," she said quietly, but her cold voice froze the courtyard. "My reign will last, and the reign of the hateful Pendragons will forever be known as a blemish in history. You will be nothing." She stepped off the platform before saying, "Cume her fyrbryne." The pyre went up in flames, but the man had stopped fighting. He hung his head, and screamed as his flesh burned away.

A woman was being restrained by two rough-looking guards, tears streaming down her face as her arms were forced behind her. "Ar-Ar-Arthur," she sobbed over and over, her knees trembling. The swollen curve of her belly suggested pregnancy, but the bruised condition of her body was more suited to that of a criminal.

The blonde woman walked swiftly over to the crying woman, gently brushing her brown curls out of her face. "We-We did what you asked, we left, we would've never come back, why, why would you kill him?" Her voice was hoarse, her words jagged.

"Because as long as he was alive, the rebellions would still have hope of their so called 'rightful king' reclaiming the throne."

"So why not just kill me?" The woman's words were bitter, but held no remorse. The pure amount of pain on her face was devastating, and she was so weary, death seemed like the best option.

The blonde woman laughed, but her laugh was like ice. "Because we don't kill pregnant woman."

"No, you just torture them," she remarked bitterly, prompting a slap from the woman.

"Be grateful," she warned, and the woman quieted, a red handprint clear on her cheek. "After your son is born, you will, of course, be killed. But as it was decreed that the children of offenders would be spared the punishment, your child will live. It's a boy, if you were curious. And he will be raised to hate his father, to hate his mother, to hate his family name. Your 'beloved son' will be well cared for, rest assured. Why, I believe my sister has already said she would claim the boy as her surrogate son and raise him as her heir. Raise him in our ways."

"She would never do that, not to Arthur," the woman whispered.

"Oh, she insisted that she be the one to raise him. After all, he is her nephew."

"She's lost the privilege to call him family after all she's done!" The blonde laughed, then leaned in close.

"We figured this would hurt more, you know. To know that your son will live on and become everything his parents despised, to be raised by the ones that stole your crowns." She nodded to the guards. "Take her to the prepared room, and secure it. Make sure she has no way of hurting the child or herself."

The woman was dragged away, and the blonde turned her back and walked into the palace. The man's corpse was still burning.

She traveled throughout the palace's halls, working her way into the Royal Chambers, gently knocking before entering. A woman sat at her vanity, brushing out her black waves of silk. She wore a dress of red, the material flowing like water. It looked as though she was wearing moving fire. Her skin seemed impossibly pale, like the polished marble columns that adorned the castle.

"Couldn't bring yourself to come watch?" she asked quietly, leaning against the door.

"He didn't deserve the privilege of my coming to his death." The woman turned, revealing her face.

Dark kohl lined her eyes, drawing emphasis to her green orbs. They were hard and cold, harsher than midwinter. Her high cheekbones were adorned with no sort of rogue or coloring, not even powder. Her lips were the color of rubies, and the only source of color on her face. Her beauty, while undeniable, was something to be feared.

"His whore has been sent to her new chambers to accommodate for her critical stage of pregnancy. She was, ah, displeased with the knowledge that you would be taking care of her son," the blonde explained, taking a seat.

She raised her head high. "He is my nephew." The blonde nodded.

"She claimed that you could no longer be considered family, after all you've done," she mocked. The black haired goddess simply nodded.

"After all I've done?" she sneered. "This is only the beginning." And then Morgana Pendragon smiled.

* * *

Morgana woke with a start, heart racing. She wasn't aware of her pillow that was wet with tears. She could still taste the smoke of Arthur's pyre, feel the smack on Gwen's cheek, and the shiver of her own voice. What had brought her to that? What had happened to make everything so awful? Morgana's heart wouldn't stop racing, and she felt as though she couldn't breathe.

She brought her knees to her chest, holding herself tightly. It couldn't be true, it couldn't be! It was only a dream, a mere nightmare. But it had felt so real, and Morgana knew that it was a possible future. She closed her eyes and felt tears drip down her face as she chanted to herself.

It was just a dream, it was just a dream, it was just a dream, it was just…

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**Aaand now things start to slowly spiral downwards. **

**Again, if you have any questions or concerns, feel free to ask! I'm answering next chapter!**


	9. Chapter 9

**It's been almost three months. I have no excuse. I got sick (again), and then I didn't have any time, and then my mental health was so bad I was basically just dead, and then it was finals. At some point in there I was just lazy, so, I'm sorry. Feel free to have me stoned, but to be honest the next few chapters should be good, so don't do that until I'm finished. Okay, enough of my rambling, go read.**

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Two days had passed, and Merlin was feeling a lot better. The open air helped a lot. His body was still tender, but he was back to his regular duties and then some, due to Morgana's big ball coming up. He was expected to get her a gift, not just because Arthur was completely panicking and forcing Merlin to pick out her gift for him, but he was also forcing him to get her a gift or, "I'll lock the two of you in a very small closet and leave you two in there until your repressed feelings are expressed,". Merlin decided that it would just be easier to get her a gift. In tight spaces it would be easier for her to kill him, or vice versa. Also, claustrophobia.

For Arthur's gift to her, he had decided on a dagger. She had been complaining about having to borrow someone's, as she had been forced to part with her own after Arthur had borrowed it and promptly lost it on a hunting trip. The story of her not talking to Arthur for a month was fabricated, but she didn't talk to him for two weeks before giving in. Arthur would be able to earn some forgiveness, and if she killed Merlin with it, well, she would easily be identified.

And for his gift, well, he was struggling. Merlin couldn't afford a whole lot, and he had spent a good chunk of his savings on the necklace he had gotten her for Valentine's Day. Of course, he had the beads back, which had been the most expensive part, but he couldn't bear to sell them. So, he scoured the marketplace for something that would be an adequate gift.

No, not flowers, Gwen gave her those all the times. Not a dress, as the only kind he could afford wouldn't be befitting of a Lady, plus he didn't have her measurements. He couldn't even bear of thinking of getting her jewelry, not after how the necklace had turned out. Merlin couldn't help but wonder what had happened to the chain, but he just figured she had lost it or melted it down or something.

So what did he get a royal lady?

And then he saw it.

It was a dark green woolen cloak, lined with rabbit's fur. And he knew, he just knew, he had to give it to her. Otherwise Arthur would lock them in a closet, and Merlin knew he would. Gwen would probably just help him, the traitor. And Merlin couldn't have that.

He hurried over to the stall. "How much for the cloak?" he asked. The vendor snorted, leaning against the post.

"More than you'll make in a year." Merlin bit his lip.

"How much?" he repeated, voice urging. The vendor sighed.

"175 gold crowns," he grumbled. Merlin's heart sank. If he bought it, he'd had barely enough for himself to survive until his next paycheck, and that wouldn't be until after the ball. And it would wipe out over half of his savings

"150?" he asked hesitantly. The vendor rolled his eyes, but his eyes seemed soft.

"Who are you buying this for, mate?" he asked. Merlin sighed, leaning against a post.

"A girl. A really beautiful, cold girl who hates my guts and I just…" He trailed off. How else could he describe Morgana? That she made his heart beat so fast he feared it would burst? That she could be the kindest person in the world when she wasn't blinded with lies? That he would have to kill her and if he didn't, she would kill him? But he didn't say any of that.

The vendor nodded, a wistful smile breaking out on his face. "I had one of those myself, her name's Lorraine. We're married now, you know, a kid with one more on the way. Name's Clarke," he said, holding out his hands. Merlin took it, wincing at his firm grip. Clarke sighed, running his fingers through his thick brown hair. He couldn't be much older than Merlin by more than a few years. Merlin couldn't help but wonder where he would be in a few years. Probably dead, if Morgana had anything to do with it. "I can sell it for, at the lowest, 95. But you have to promise me two things." Merlin's heart sped up, and he eagerly nodded.

"Anything." Clarke laughed.

"First, I always need some help around the shop. Nothing too extreme, mostly just some lifting and delivery, picking up materials, you know. No offense, but I wouldn't let you near the fabrics. I saw you falling over nothing earlier. If you could come in for two or three weeks, it'd be a big help. I'm still getting this baby on her feet, you know?" Merlin nodded. He'd figure it out, he'd just spend his lunch over here and run by when he could. He could do that.

"Sounds great. I can't promise every day, but you will get three week's worth of work from me, I promise." Clarke smiled, raising his eyebrows.

"I feel like I will. Second, I need you to win that girl's heart and tell me how it goes." A wide grin broke out on Merlin's face.

"Thank you, thank you, so much," he said, grateful. Clarke rolled his eyes. "Can I pick it up in a few days?" He shrugged.

"It'll be here, waiting for you. You can pay then, okay?" Merlin nodded. "Now, get outta here!" Merlin's face broke into a toothy grin, and he laughed as he headed away from the stand. He had everything figured out.

95 gold crowns wasn't so bad. It was practically all he had left of this paycheck, though, and he'd have to dip a little into his savings. But he'd just have to be careful for a week, and it was a really good deal.

Merlin hated the fact that he wanted Morgana to be pleased with his gift. His feelings towards her, while strong, had to be ignored. It was their destiny to be enemies, and if he didn't kill her she would kill him, and would be glad to do it. But he couldn't forget holding her in the hole, or how she felt as they embraced after he had returned to Camelot. He had developed feelings for her over the course of years, how could he just uproot those and bring himself to kill her that easily?

He then spotted a familiar blonde braid, and allowed for a smile to break out on his face. "Acure!" he shouted, waving his arms. She turned, eyes wide.

"Merlin?" she asked, frozen. Acure then regain her composure and smiled, but he could've sworn that she had fear in her eyes for a split second. "How are you healing up?" she asked. Merlin shrugged.

"Less pain now," he admitted, to which she laughed. "Are you busy, you seem to be in a rush?" More of a forced laughed this time, and he noted the difference.

"No, just trying to get back my family before they eat without me." She was lying through her teeth, but Merlin merely nodded.

"Well, I'll let you go. We should definitely get together before you and Isadore leave." She smiled prettily.

"I'll find you if I need to." And then she ran off, becoming part of the crowd. Merlin frowned, struggling to figure out why she seemed so off balance and she had lied. He knew it wasn't his business, but she had seemed very off balance.

Merlin shrugged, and headed back to the palace. Arthur would be pleased with his gifts of choice.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want anything? Water, warm milk with honey, tea?" Gwen asked, shifting awkwardly. Morgana shook her head, wincing.

"Can you please just get Gaius, I don't need anything else, just get Gaius, please," Morgana pleaded. Gwen nodded, hurrying for Gaius. Morgana laid back in bed, eyes closed. Her head hurt, and her breathing had only just returned to normal. She hadn't been able to fall back asleep after the nightmares, and had just started crying. She didn't know what time she had woken up, but the sun had been creeping through the windows. Morgana had been unable to bring herself to call out, so she laid there, whimpering like a child, until Gwen came in and found her nearly catatonic.

Gwen had been an angel and immediately rushed to her side. She hadn't made her do anything, just held her and whispered soothing words into her ears until her breathing steadied and her heart had stop racing like a horse. She hadn't made her talk about it, she knew Morgana was sensitive about her nightmares, but Morgana hadn't been able to look her in the eyes.

The image of her pregnant and beaten because of her hadn't vanished, and every time she closed her eyes she saw the tears leaking down Gwen's face as Arthur died. The smell of burning flesh still hadn't left her nostrils, and she was trying to not breathe through her nose. She felt sick to her stomach.

How could she hurt Gwen, sweet Gwen, like that? She brought her knees to her chest, not realizing how badly she was shaking. What had happened to her? What had she become? Morgana had so many questions, and no one to ask them to.

She knew, deep down, that it had something to do with her and Morgause's plans. But Morgause had promised her fairness in trials, and that Arthur would be spared if she could get him to step down. She wouldn't go back on her word. Would she?

Morgana really didn't know. She wanted to believe that her sister wouldn't, but in truth, she barely knew the woman. They didn't see each other enough, and Morgause knew far more about her.

"Morgana? Is it okay if I come in?" Morgana froze. That wasn't Gaius. "I'm coming in, okay?" The door gently swung up, revealing Merlin, who took in her appearance. Her hair was as bushy as a rat's nest, her cheeks had tear stains on them, and she was almost positive there was dried spit on the side of her mouth. Why was she focusing on her appearance? She should be focusing on where Gaius was.

"Where-Where's Gaius?" She hated herself for stuttering. Merlin plopped his bag down in the chair, setting out his supplies.

"He was called out into town. I was all Gwen could find," he explained.

"Where is Gwen, exactly?" Merlin grimaced.

"She said to tell you that she went to go collect some flowers for the room. She knows they help you when, uh, you know." The room felt impossibly silent for a moment. "So, do you wanna talk about what happened, or just about what you felt and how to get through it?"

Morgana's mouth felt strangely dry. She almost wanted to talk with Merlin about it, but that was ridiculous. Why would she discuss anything with Merlin? "How I felt, and how to get through it. Please," she added, bringing her knees more tightly to her chest. Only then did she realize she was still in her nightgown, and that Merlin hadn't looked in her direction since he had come in. She prayed that she wasn't blushing too hard.

Wait, why was she blushing? If he was Gaius, she would be perfectly fine with this. Plus, he worked for a physician, he was probably used to the human body. She had no reason to get flustered over this. Nonetheless, she pulled the covers up.

"Start when you woke up, and walk me through what happened," he directed awkwardly, still not looking in her direction. Morgana then noticed the blush on his face, and realized that a smile was beginning to form on her face. How strange.

"I woke up after some nightmares. My heart was beating very fast, my breathing was inconsistent and uncontrollable, and I couldn't calm down. I couldn't breathe, and I felt sick to my stomach. I felt very… anxious, I guess." It was weird describing it after it had happened. She was feeling calmer now, but she felt very on edge.

"An anxiety attack."

"Hm?" she asked.

"You had an anxiety attack. Whatever happened in your nightmare, or were thinking about before you went to bed, it was enough to trigger a full out anxiety attack. I suggest talking to someone about it, Gaius, perhaps, or he can recommend someone, or maybe Gwen, but talking it out helps."

"Oh." She suddenly felt very stupid, and that made her very cross. She hugged her arms to her chest. "And exactly what should I do when having an anxiety attack, oh-Medical-genius?" Morgana could've sworn a smile tugged at his lips, but it disappeared before she could get a good look. Not that she wanted one.

"Well, try to ground yourself to what you know. Positive things, specifically. That helps a lot of people. I find breathing methods are particularly helpful, but that's just me. Drinking water, that helps. And as I said, if you start to feel anxious, talking to someone or partaking in anything helps. I know that this one was sprung from a nightmare, but if you ever get one when you're awake, try to engage in something and lose yourself in it. If that's not working, you can talk to Gaius, me, Gwen, anyone you trust."

"That's just you?" she quoted, and his ears turned bright red.

"I'm, uh, claustrophobic. Breathing helps me once I've gotten my thoughts together." Morgana felt a twinge of guilt. They had left him in a well for almost three days. She couldn't help but wonder just how he had coped with being there for so long. It was damn impressive. She had been entirely unable to cope. Granted, this nightmare - she refused to call it a vision - had been particularly harsh. "Anyways, there's a couple breathing methods, I personally like breathing in for four, holding the breath for four, and breathing out for four. And then repeating until you feel calm."

Morgana nodded, and started breathing as he suggested. In, hold, out. In, hold, out. In, hold, out. Whatever butterflies were left over started to die down, and she kept repeating until she felt like herself.

"Thank, Merlin," she heard herself saying. Merlin's spine went rigid, and then he nodded.

"You're welcome, Morgana. I left you some sleeping draught, the green one, and some headache relief, the brown one, and some lavender candles for you to light. Gaius says their scent can be calming, but if Gwen is bringing flowers, best not to light them. It's whatever works for you. I'll be checking in on you later," Merlin explained, walking towards the door.

"That's it?" Merlin froze, then shrugged, back still to her.

"I, unfortunately, have to be as quick as possible here. Gaius really needs me. But, uh, I was told that Arthur would be dropping by later, do you want me to go ask for him now?"

"Yes, please," she said quietly. He nodded, ducking out before she could say anything else. Morgana had almost wanted to ask him to stay. But that was ridiculous. The further Merlin was from her, the better it would be for everyone.

But her nightmares of destruction and pain had been increasing ever since she had started cutting Merlin out of her life. Perhaps, without him in it, things were destined to go down that route. Her stomach churned, and she decided to stop thinking about that. Morgana wasn't in the position to give any serious thought to anything.

Her main job was to prevent that vision from happening. But not until she was better. She closed her eyes, and started breathing like Merlin had instructed.

In, 1, 2, 3, 4, Hold, 1, 2, 3, 4, Out, 1, 2, 3, 4…

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**Time jump next chapter, so you're warned now. Please review!**


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